A Trip to the Store

Grocery shopping has never been so rewarding. Last night, Joe took me out in the wheelchair to go get some essentials (things like cheese, eggs, and soap). This may not seem like a big deal, but oh let me tell you, IT WAS!!!

A couple weeks ago the car ride alone had the potential to send my body into convulsions and my speech to become incredibly slurred. My brain couldn’t handle processing simple things like cars passing us, the turns and curves in the road, or sudden stops. These trips in the car let alone the activity that would follow (mainly doctor’s appointments) could wipe me out for days. But last night was a different story. I was able to endure the car ride with out much problem at all. In fact we were able to sing along to Joe’s and my rap and country mix of radio stations (suiting both our tastes!) with the windows rolled down. When we pulled into the store’s parking lot I was able to get out of the car on my own and walk to the other side where Joe had my wheelchair waiting for me. We shopped for our groceries, checked out, and began the process of heading home. I was able to do all that and with Joe’s help still walk up the stairs to our apartment upon returning home. I was exhausted but so excited that I seemed to be ok. As I got ready for bed, my body did eventually give in and I became incredibly weak and my speech turned to gibberish again. We expected that though and were rejoicing that I was able to do as much I did without that happening sooner in the process. After sleeping almost 14 hours I got up out of bed and was able to make a bowl of cereal for breakfast on my own. My normal voice has returned and I’m tired but not exhausted. This is an AMAZING work of grace. God is being so kind.

For the past week or so it seems that my health has been maintaining an “improved” state. Joe and I are always hesitant to say that I’m getting better as I’ve had a couple episodes like this before were I only end up relapsing again. But I’m soooooooo grateful for these past several days. I’ve been sleeping a lot lately… sometimes to the point that I sleep more hours then I’m awake. But I think that is mainly due to me doing more physical activity. I’m excited to say that in the past week I have been able to fold laundry, do the dishes twice, walk around the house without the wheelchair most times, and listen to a message from New Attitude with out much problem. My voice also sounds normal most of the time which is a happy thing for this talkative girl!

My prayer is that 1) this wouldn’t just be a “blip on the radar” in my health as before but that God would be healing me and 2) that I wouldn’t find my joy based in my circumstances or health but in the Lord. I find that it is a struggle when my body collapses after an activity to maintain a joyful and grateful heart. Most times it is a very real temptation to complain about my health in those moments rather then rejoicing in what God has just allowed me to do. I want my joy to be grounded in truth… not to float with the ups and downs of my circumstances.

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.